Processes…

26 09 2015

My current process continues.  I continue to reexamine my life and it is a painful process.

What I understand about this process is that I have been on a serious journey for many years of growth and healing and I have arrived at a certain place; where I am look at my life with more consciousness.  I think that my progress has stopped for now and this examination of my previous actions and decisions and situations and circumstances is a clearing out of the unconsciousness that I lived in and with in previous levels of development or nondevelopment (whichever applies).

It seems I have to do a kind of karma clearing on my previous level of consciousness.  There are so many things that I have done that I would not do now, that I decided that I would not decide now.  Situations that I put myself in that I would not do so now.  Relationships that I entered that I would not enter now.  Decisions I have made that I would not make now.

In a way I could say I was not completely sane, and made decisions from that not completely sane place.  Now I am a different person, in a different place in my beingness and consciousness.  I would not make of those decisions I made in the past.  One of the bigger changes is that I made many decisions from the needs of my ego, and my neuroses; rather than a place of consciousness and my and others greatest good.

Like other processes I have been through this is one that I am not resisting or trying to stop it.  I just let it roll through my life as I go through it and my daily activities.  In a way I am not attached to it, and it a way I am very attached to it.  I know that this process will end one day.  Maybe this week, maybe in a month, maybe in a year, and when it is done there will be another process.  That process will begin when it is ready.  It will likely not be right away after this one ends, it could be a year it could be days.  And I know that process will be different, and hit me in a totally different area of my life.

It is all a purification process.  Sometimes I think the more work I do, the more conscious I become the more there is to do.  I am ready for this process to continue until it is done, and I am ready for the next process.  It seems there is always a next process.

It all continues.  There is always something to learn.  More to purify.  More to clear from our mind and consciousness.  This will continue for a long time to come.

Advertisements

Actions

Information

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: