Significance

3 07 2017

It has been a long time since I made a blog post.

In that time a lot has happened in my life on many fronts.  Some I have likely talked about and others I have not.

Today I was looking through my old blog posts and thought I would write.  And what is up for me is significance.

What I mean by that is that our mind is made of of significances.  Our mind makes everything more or less significant.  What happens in life is mostly neutral until our mind grabs a hold of it, and places some significance on it.  I have noticed this process of not placing significance on certain things over the past many years.  There are things I used to think were very important and effected me in a big way, that now I do not care about.  I am no longer placing significance on them.  It is hard to come up with the things I have stopped doing this with because I do not really put my attention on them anymore.

As I stop putting my attention on certain things, my mind stops placing significance on them.  And there is freedom in that.  In a way my mind has less control over my thoughts and feelings.  I have pulled out of the struggle with certain parts of life.  One of them is my family.  I stopped long ago wanting them to be a certain way.  I got they are only going to be the way there are.  They are not going to accept me in a way they haven’t.  They are certainly not going to get me as I am today, being very different than I was many years ago, and fitting into my little family niche, my family role, the good boy, or the big brother, or the adversary.  Or many other roles I may not actually have participated in, but was cast in for them to do their own personal play in the family dynamics.

This is just one area where I have stopped putting my attention on them to be a certain way, to meet some expectation I had, to meet my needs in a way that I felt I could not meet my own needs.  The dance of family that rarely feels satisfying to the dancing puppets that try to act a certain way to be accepted by the other dancing puppets who are doing the same.

With my family all I can do is get them to the best of my ability, and accept them the way they really are, and to have boundaries with them that keeps them from infringing on me in ways I do not want, while they continue with their family dynamic games.  I am more conscious of my roles, and decided which I might play or won’t play.  I strive to accept them the way their really are.  I think we tend to have less compassion for our families than we do for others in the world.  Of course our families deserve as much compassion as anyone else, they were just closer to us, and we saw the inside of what was going on.   We participated in what was going on.  We were part of what was going on.  Many of us are still wrapped up in that dance, and others have left the dance hall with the intention of no longer having contact with our former dance partners.  Neither of these is the path to freedom…

We must see the truth in ourselves, the others and the dance.  We do not have freedom in reactivity to the dynamics, either by continuing our participation, or rejecting it all.

We must seek freedom in ourselves.  Acknowledge those things that still trigger you about the others and meditate upon that until it is healed in you.  This is one way to let go of the struggle, to no longer put your attention on those things that have bothered you about the dance for so many years.  Sometimes we cannot do this on our own, and we need help.  Mind Clearing is a way to release those significances from the mind.  Enough Mind Clearing work can break up those stuck places we have lingering without ourselves.

I will likely write more on this in the future but for now…

Be well, and always seek freedom in yourself, and for others…

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One response

11 07 2017
Roberta Gillis

“You do not need to always conceptualize, interpret or label everything that comes into your awareness” Eckhart Tolle

Bob- With age comes wisdom, I pray we are all getting a little smarter.

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